ROYAL WEDDING

There’s a Royal Wedding

What do you know

They’re talking about it and

Writing about it everywhere I go

The House of Windsor will be joining with

The House of Markle

They’ll be exchanging their rings,

And a number of other things

They’re going to be the Kings of the Castle

Royal Wedding

Give me a break

A fairy tale

A dress and veil

A piece of lemon cake

The police and secret service

With their semi-automatics and their truncheons

Have rounded up the hungry and the hopeless and the homeless

And they’ve locked them in the Windsor Castle dungeons

There’ll be trumpets and prayers and hymns

A spot of lunch then croquet and Pimms

Then Sir Elton will sing Candle in the Wind

At the Royal Wedding

Royal Weddings

Don’t you just love em

Henry Tudor so much that he ordered half a dozen

Nobody does em better than the Royals of course

And the’ve also much experience and expertise in managing divorce

Royal wedding

Hip hip hooray

He’s straight out a Kensington

She’s straight outa LA

Never mind the trouble in Korea and the Gaza Strip

The questions we’ve got

Are who’s designed the frock

And how’s and the Duke of Edinburgh’s hip

The miles of bunting and flags

The mugs and the masks and the bags

By July will be landfill and rags

The brides sister has been digging up the dirt

The brides brother is a piece of work

The brides father’s going to have to watch them say I do

From his hospital bed on pay per view

Royal Wedding

Since way back when

Since Ethelred and Ethelfled

Since Arthur and Gwen

The Catherdals and the chapels

And the crowns and the castles,

The jewels and the precious stones

The poison in the vessels with pestle

Not the flagon with the dragon

Or the chalice from the palace in the Game of Thrones

Said Meghan to her wedding planner

I want to be the Lady of the Manor

But not in the manor of Diana

The groom’s mother made us stop and stare

The groom’s father (let’s no go there)

The grooms family’s just an ordinary family doing an ordinary thing

With just a lot more circumstance, pomp and bling

Royal Wedding

You don’t want to miss

Call up John Lewis

and ask to see the list

They want a limited edition of commerative fine bone china

And a super king Egyptian Cotton fitted sheet embroidered

With the emblem Megan Regina

Every little girl that there is

Dreams of a day like this

With every frog that they kiss

So I’m going to make myself a cup of tea

And turn on my 4K TV

And pretend they’ve invited me

To the Royal Wedding